Catch Up

hello!

i am alive and well. just a quick update from the last posts of yore:

-mustaches were made for a colleague's hen night at charcoal. it was themed 'mustaches, glitter and bright lips'. i think it was one of my favourite themed events since. we wore glittered mustaches on sticks for photos, put on bright lipstick (which we removed during our meal. dont wanna get lead into our food!), and had fun with helium balloons.

-i am still happily married, thank you very much.

-i slipped off the bandwagon for a while.. gaining almost 5kgs (!!) but now i'm happy to say that i'm back to my old size and my jeans don't scare me anymore. now to keep maintaining this weight. i'm trying to get into running because its cheap and easy. i don't enjoy running, but last night i did my first evern 5k (on a treadmill) which was so satisfying because i have never ran for 3k straight for as long as i remember.. so to have that fresh memory is sweet sweet success.

- i havent been good with reading the qur'an lately so i am promising myself to khatam before 2012 ends. insyaAllah kalau panjang umur.

lotsa love,
rabia xoxo

October

the whole month of September and no posts. expect irregular postings from now on hehe.

a few random updates:

i have been obsessing over pinterest. dont know what pinterest is? you guys are missing out.

i am trying to grow out my hair. yes its long but it still needs to grow at least 3 more inches to be my ideal hair length. any hair-lengthening solutions? or something i can dow ith my hair while i wait for the 3 inches to grow? maybe get bangs ala zoey dechanel? (sp?)

i am currently making mustaches. what for? i'll update for the next post.

okay thats it from me.

lotsa love,
Rabia xoxo

Wedding: In a Nutshell part 4

its getting a bit tedious maintaining a blog. now that i have twitter (yes i've finally joined the masses! hehe), facebook and a husband to maintain hehe. but at the end of the day, you can only say so much on twitter or facebook and a blog lets me go on and on. whether u guys read my rants is anyone's guess =)

so here i am, a month later than my last post, rounding up the last post on the last event of my wedding. (does that make sense? sounds convoluted  but oh well)

As mentioned in the last post, we weren't able to squeeze in a power nap so by this time, we were honest-to-god ngalih and just wanted it all over and done with. yes i get to wear more beautiful bajus/dresses but like i said, kalau ngalih, baju lawa atu pun macam membagi malas..

my husband and i both started getting ready soon after smbhyg maghrib. by this time, both my MUA and photographer were in the room, one painting my face and the other click-click-clicking away. i made a last minute change of wardrobe for my berambil-ambilan the day before due to the hoo haa of my bersanding veil not allowed to be touching the floor because inda kuasa. so rather than wear my deep purple kebaya from Aaliah Asmara (which had a slight mermaid cut that made the kain drag slightly on the floor), i decided to wear one of my grandaunt's baju songket. and yes, it fits me just fine. it amazes me how petite my mother and grandmothers were way back then!

(aside: i'm lucky to have to chance to wear the wedding attires worn by my grandaunt at her wedding; the songkets were almost 50 years old! i had a choice between a purple arap gegati kebaya or a white bunga sipugut baju kurung and opted for the white one.)

i paired the white baju kurung with a gold veil i rented from roza rohaya, jewelry that my father gave my mother as hantaran during their wedding in 1985, my late grandmother's gold and ruby tiara and my purple nine west shoe. it just so happens that the white songket has puple, red, gold and green so i was pleasantly happy with the overall results. the fact that i got to wear family heirlooms and vintage pieces was icing on the cake. in fact, i regretted the fact that i didnt wear the white outfit throughout my function!

Allow me to explain. i was set on wearing the white outfit throughout my function. however, one of my grandaunts (the younger, cool one hehe) convinced me to change into my purple outfit for the cake cutting because 'sayang jua. jauh2x kau ke beliat membuat, nda kan nda di pakai.' then the fact that the nenek who said inda kuasa kain sampai ke lantai wasnt coming to my ambilan.. so i made a dress change after my mother in law gave me jewelry on the pelamin, just in time for the cake cutting.

it was slightly chaotic becuase the only persons who knew about the dress change were aforemetioned grandaunt, my mother and my 3 bridesmaids. Guests were probably wondering why the bride&groom dissapeared off so quickly; i distinctly remember seeing the photographer looking a bit perplexed hehe.

the outfit change was one of the most last minute things that i advise future brides not to do, unless you have a dedicated team of bridesmaids. again, alhamdulillah for my bridesmaids who made everything run smoothly; one ensured that i had a matching tudong with the purple kebaya (the horror if we couldnt find one!) and that both baju and tudong were ironed, another set up the wedding cake to distract/entertain guests during bride&groom's absence (this bridesmaid also made the wedding cake - for free!) and another helped me get ready and buttoned the numerous buttons of my corset, pinned on my grandmother's tiara (it didnt match with the purple kebaya but by then i was just like 'what the heck') and they it was time to make the second entrance with my super-fast outfit change.

i forgot to prepare a place for the cake-cutting - so that was done quickly by my mother, my grandaunt and one bridesmaid while i changed. you see, its always the little things; but alhamdulillah it worked out okay, down to the knife, which was a normal kitchen knife tied with a gold ribbon (to match the gold lapik under the cake - which was actually one of my lapik gangsa hehe).

talk about drama, kan? one last minute outfit change and last minute prep of cake table.

after cake cutting and bersuapan with the cake, it was time to eat. because it was late, some guests went for the food straightaway while some stayed for bersalam2x with bride&groom. due to that, the bride and groom table were taken over by guests! hehe i guess the deco wasnt sufficient enought to show it was for bride and groom. anyway, we ended up eating at the table used for cake cutting (cake had been whisked off to kitchen to be served to guests) with my brothers. it had the more casual feel, like a family gathering for makan-makan. also, during the bersalm-salam my tiara kept coming off; i guess my bridesmaid didnt manage to pin it properly so i removed the tiara and wore a peacock feather headband (which was originally part of the ensemble anyway). 3 bridal looks in one night. not bad, ey?

after that, a few guests left and then it was picture time! with family, friends, and just us bride and groom. we werent as tired as during the bersanding photoshoot; probably because the ambil-ambilan was a more casual affair. i don't remember what time we actually got to sleep, but we definitely slept like babies that night!


phew! finally did the whole 4 part summary of my wedding! again, thank you to all those who made it possible!


much love,
be'ah xoxo

p/s a cousin is getting married in February 2012! we helped run errands last Sunday and it felt good to help someone so soon after getting married ourselves!

p/p/s we have a niece! my sister in law, who has been expecting throughout all 3 weddings (remember my 2 sister in laws got married a few months before and after ours?) has given birth to a healthy 3kg baby girl yesterday and i am beyond excited. makes me want to have one of my own! haha but first need to establish whether i really want one or just at the sake of baby envy. hee.

Wedding: In a Nutshell part 3

this is very loooong overdue. but as it is, things have been a little busy (and okay i admit, i was lazy). i promised myself that i had to make myself write this post because i know i'll regret it later.

part 3 is day of bersanding, 24 April 2011. but briefly, may i just touch on the night before, 23rd April 2011, the night where i had my henna done on my feet and hands. it was not a pleasant experience because:

a) it was cold. and i couldnt  exactly cover my poor cold feet with a blanket lest i damage the pacar on it.
b) my nose was itchy throughout the night. and again, i couldnt scratch my noses unless i wanted to rock a rudolph look the next day.
c) the pacar on my feet was less than perfect. it pained me to see that it wasnt properly done and that i couldnt do anything about it.
d) i could not sleep at all.

so it the end, after determining that my feet and fingers were red/orange enough, i took them off (slowly because the pengangun was sleeping next to me), rinsed the residue under the tap and up i went to my bedroom to get a good night's sleep.

(mind you, i only slept properly at 2am.and the next morning, i think the pengangun was upset that i went off huhu)

so th next day, i was uber cranky because of the unpleasant experience. add to that the fact that my pengangun insisted i do a bertangas and mandi bunga, which i think is ridiculously unnecessary (and i am supported here by both my mother and grandmother) but we went ahead with it anyway because it was 'tradition'. however, managed to make the whole experience less painful as my grandmother told my pengangun (who is my nini tua, btw) that i can only do the bertangas for a few seconds cause we were running late to leave for polo club.

we were all suppose to leave at 8.30am, but due to the bride being cranky, the whole party left the hse at abt 9am, where the bride left on an empty stomach. talk abt antagonising the bride huh?

as soon as we arrived in polo, i was told that my veil wasnt allowed to drag on the floor because 'inda kuasa'. fudge me but i planned for the whole thing, for my goddamn veil to be cathedral length! so a very very pissed off me conceded to having the veil folded so that it only reached the floor. retrospectively, i shouldn't have been so difficult but that was my biggest day and it was very dissapointing to have your plans dashed just because someone says its 'inda kuasa'.

good thing abt polo was that food was served in the bride's changing room, so i got to eat before getting ready. after that, the whole shebang started taking place; i changed into my blouse (and a slip) while my face was made up. at this point friends and family were coming up to see me, which was fun! after my face was done (and all friends were told to go back to their seats), my bridesmaids pulled me to the bathroom to put on my skirt, which was to be worn as a sarong.

that experience in the bathroom was the defining moment of the relationship between  bride and bridemaids. there i was, in my underwear and corset and having three ladies pin and pull the kain tenunan on me. aslo worth mentioning that one particular bridesmaid pinned me twice.

once i was zipped up into the pink bersanding dress, it was time to wear the tudong and tiara. once i was fitted in the full regalia, it was picture taking! then there was more waiting, because the groom was late by almost 20 minutes. i was brought up to the pelamin by both parents walking beside me, 3 flower girls leading the procession and my 3 bridesmaids bringing up the rear. the walk down the aisle was just a lot of flashes, glimpses of faces and a few 'hey rabz'. my dutiful bridesmaids promptly fixed my skirt and veil as i sat on the dais and i was telling myself to not look around so that my mata doesnt look 'liar'.

finally, the groom arrived and i could slowly lift my eyes up. the usual doa and bertapak went on, then it was berbasuh kaki!

berbasuh kaki was planned as a short one; my parents didn't want to fill the water vase fully so that people would get the hint. however more and more people came up to basuh kaki, up to the point that my nini idah has to refill the vase with mineral water from thrice. it was a great experience, albeit a cold one. altho i remember thinking at that time that i wanted to take pictures with friends and a few were already catching my eye and signaling their departure to me during the berbasuh kaki. (note: husband mentioned after the honeymoon that during the berbasuh kaki was the one and only time he has seen me so 'teranah').

after that was done, the usual pictures on the dais with friends who waited, and family. and then, the fun part, the picture taking between me and groom only! we went from the dais to the windows to the stairs to the surau to the bench outside and finally actually lying down on the grass.

admittedly we got great pictures out of it but i was quite hungry by that point. in the end, both bride, groom and one of my brothers left polo at aroun 4pm feeling very tired and hungry. we made a pitstop at kfc for food but we (bride & groom) stayed in teh car whilst my brother got the food. We got some funny looks from other cars since we were decked out in pengantin gear but driving the car was the groom himself. hehe.

by the time we reached home, took off all the make up, hung up our clothes and showered, it was already time to get ready for the berambil-ambilan! we were planning on getting a power nap squeezed in before the night's event but alas, our obligations as pengantin weren't over yet.

but that night's event will be for another post.

i'd like to end this post by saying thank to to everyone who came and made the event a success =D

much love,
be'ah xoxo

sneak peek

Wedding: In a Nutshell Part 3 will be up soon. sorry for such a long delay. been busy beign a wife ;)

much love,
rabi'a xoxo

Wedding: In a Nutshell part 2

2 days after my berbedak i had the most important event of the wedding; my akad nikah! hehe afterall, there is no wedding without an akad nikah.

i am still madly in love with my nikah dress. i've said it before and i will say it again. that dress was simply divine, luscious, beautiful amazing and just to die for!! =) im am ever grateful to Aaliah Asmara for designing the dress and equally grateful to my aunt who sponsored the vintage lace for the dress =D i cant count how many compliments i got for the dress! not counting the complaints from a few elders who thought the dress was too tight/see-thru/too long. well, you can't make everyone happy.

the most important person at the event (besides the bride, of course) loved the dress which was the whole point of driving up and down to KB to make the dress. if you can't guess, i mean my husband. i'll be honest, sometimes what i think is lawa on a baju isn't what he likes so i was really glad he liked what i was wearing that day.

that friday morning 22nd april 2011 was the first and only time i was dressed in proper pengantin gear at home ie in a while baju kurung and gold bangles on my ankles (previous i was just dressed in any old t shirt/stretch pants like i normally do). ppl were coming over early to help out and altho everyone was busy, i didn't feel any nerves at all up until i knew the groom had arrived hehe.

anyhow, just before lunch my aunt, who did the tenunan for my sanding, came over with a few sinjangs and told me to choose one so that i can add in to my balasan hantaran. i was torn between 2 and in the end she simplye told me to take both of them! i mean, these songkets do not come cheap so alhamdulillah for my rezeki that day.

things started to get hectic for me when it was time to get dressed. a few things happened at once; i needed to arrange the singjangs on a gangsa to make it part of the original 8 set of my balasan, the train on my dress needed ironing and my tudong was a bit see thru under the sun which required an extra underscarf.

again, my bridesmaids stepped in to save the day, all in the span it took for my make up to be done. somehow the 3 of them managed to organize themselves and by the time my face was done (which didnt take long because my MUA is talented like that hehe), my train was ironed, the sinjang was arranged on a gangsa and looked like it was part of the original set (which was done professionally i might add, so kudos to whichever bridesmaid did it) and pins were found for my tudong. can you believe i overlooked pins? pins! for my tudong! always the little little things..

anyway, once i was in the dress, pulled, tugged and buttoned on by the bridesmaids, tudong on, tiara pinned, veil on.. i was a picture perfect bride, all dressed in white. seriously, it was such a surreal feeling, on my berbedak, i felt very princess-y but during the nikah, it was all so grown up and so real! it was also when i started feeling the nerves! my cousin who was on skype was saying things like 'omgd rabz lawaaaa! inda kau nervous??' and things like that that i made her put on mute =s my bad.. but she wasnt helping my nerves then hee.

since my train was long and my shoes weren't tall enough, i had difficulty managing the stairs but my bridesmaids were so well trained that nobody slipped or fell. and may i also add that one bridesmiad was holding a laptop so that my cousin (on skype) could see the whole event? how awesome is that?

so i got seated on the huge square cushion made out of red jongsarat. let me tell u (and most of u prolly know/agree) that i am not one to sit still for a length of time. i tend to jingle my feet, tap my fingers or shift my body whenever i do have to stay in one place for a period of time. this case, however, i did not have that option.. unless i wanted to be known as an iski bride.. or something rude along those lines. then there was the corset of the dress, which made me sit up straight but in essence gave me limited movement.. so while i was sitting there and my dad read the khutbah and my then-fiance read his vows (yess my dad gave me away, no passing me to another wali to do the job! hehe), having to breathe in and out because i was nervous.. my left foot fell asleep.

it was really the worst case of pins and needles. i could hardly stand up and when i tried to walk (after we were pronounced husband and wife), i almost fell and had to grab hold of my brother's arm for support. due to that, i unfortunately didnt make the rounds to salam everyone and one genius bridemaid made me just stand on one spot so that guests could come and see me instead.

alhamdulillah the whole nikah thing came and went without a hitch. there were minor things like how my husband was made to wear a dastar by his family when we specifically wanted a songkok, but then it wasnt too bad and he did have his songkok in the car so during the photo session he just changed hats hee.

the photo session took forever.. i was tired but i didnt wanna stop because a) the photographers were pricey and b) i didnt knw when else i was gonna wear the dress so i wanted to get as many pictures as possible of me in the dress! in the end, the photogs finished just after maghrib and also new husband stayed until abt 8 plus! hee

he also came over the day after. no pantangs or pengangun can stop us! afterall, we were already husband and wife, nda kan d larang be jumpa, rite? i will never understand why some penganguns and even some parents dont allow the bride and groom to see eachother before their bersanding.

anyhoo, tis all for part 2 =)

much love,
rabi'a xoxo

The Wedding: In a Nutshell part 1

i know i've been MIA for quite some time and i privatised this blog for a while but now that my husband's out to work, i need an outlet to vent and basically share anything that i forget telling him (because i am super forgetful).

so the last post says it was 4 more days to my wedding.. and today i've been married for 22 days! just over a week and then i'll be a 1 month old newly-wed.

so in order than i dont forget the crucials of my wedding, im going to lay it all out here, in brief (i hope! tho knowing me.. i tend to go on and on and on..)

this will be done in parts because there's a whole load that i wanna cover, even tho i say im being brief. so bear with me cause i wanna be able to read this post 20 years from now.

my first event was my berbedak which was held on the 22nd april 2011, on a week night no less. needless to say, what with the long commute to tutong and early working hrs the next day, non of my colleagues or friends could make it =(

however, i had my posse of bridesmaids. i know i've mentioned in previous posts how lucky i am to have them and how awesome and helpful they are, but my berbedak really pushed them in bridesmaid duties. how? read on..

my berbedak gear was on loan from a grandaunt, so it was proper authentic gold. however, my grandaunt did not have the 'bunga kertas' as part of her set so when my MUA was setting me up, she had to modify the headgear a bit so that my hair was cover. i had only one garland of fresh white orchids.. but being a very talented MUA, she pulled off the challenge effortlessly. i remember almost wanting to cry since my berbedak things were incomplete. 2 bridesmaids had to go off to Hua Ho to find some special paper just to make last minute flowers but i called tehm to come back (just as they reach hua ho, too!) when i thought i can get away without the full set.

then in walked my grandaunt, the one who owned the berbedak gear. now as an intro, this particular grandaunt is know as bossy, laser and pemarah in the family albeit we all know she is a very kind and sincere loving woman. she saw how the berbedak things were on me, and was immediately in a flurry of words and instructions and my poor make up artist was left speechless. she took off ALL the berbedak gear on my head and redid the whole thing in a matter of minutes in the proper old fashioned way.

now if you've noticed, the new way of putting on the berbedak gear is in such a way so that the bride won't be in so much pain the whole night. how my grandaunt put in on was the old original way, which hurt like h*ll. oh and my fresh garland of orchids? ruined!

my grandaunt made all 3 of my bridesmaids make the 'bunga kertas' from scratch using tissue paper, scissors, a thread and a needle. they made 2 garlands of the 'bunga kertas' and my grandaunt finished making me up, all in less than 40 minutes. there was so much activity in the room that my cousin, who was in australia and on skype, had to be cut off abruptly. my bridesmaids were flustered from cutting tissue paper and threading but i am grateful that they carried out they bridesmaid duties diligently.. i swear without them, that night would have been a disaster.

in the end, all the fuss and reconstruction of my headgear was worth it. the bunga kertas looked amazing, none of youse wudve guessed it was tissue paper if i didnt tell you. the groom's family came late as well, so the delay in redoing my head for the 2nd time didn't really make much difference.

the berbedak night was amazing despite the constant pain on my head. also, despite none of my friends being able to come, it was only then that i truly felt proud of being Bruneian, dressed in a vintage red kebaya jongsarat (my mum's which she wore for her bersanding!) and all the gold on my arms, feet and head, macam.. princess!! it was the event that i felt the most 'princess-y' and regal despite not having a groom around yet hee.

i have to say that the pain on the head is so worth it. i'd do it all over again, if i could. my berbedak, being my first official event as bride and getting all dressed up in the most regal outfit was just amazing, especially for someone like me whose been planning her wedding since eons ago! =)

anyhoo, i'll leave it there. sorry no pictures =) its all up on facebook already anyway.

much love,
rabi'a xoxo